Things MY Kids Say

We have a quote book at our house now, so anyone can write down a funny comment. This is extremely helpful because I used to forget to write things down, but now someone always pipes up and says, "Quote book" or they just go write it themselves. This also leads to many a random thing written in the quote book that is not all that funny, but at least the kids are amused by their own silliness. Here are a few from the last five months that I enjoyed.
_______________________________________

Daisy and I are reading a book online. The book has questions at the end.

Mom: What is a baby cat called?
Daisy: MITTEN!!
_______________________________________

We were watching the end of General Conference and President Monson exited the stand with his daughter. (Previously, he always left with his wife.)

Mom: Cute, now President Monson goes out with his daughter.
(June gave me a quizzical look)
June: Mom, I thought you meant "Goes out with" the other way.
________________________________________

Kami: Kendyl, ya it's a bisexual name.
Mom: Do you mean unisex??
________________________________________

June: Which is it? Alfalfa or Omega?
________________________________________

Robyn: You know why I don't eat broccoli? Because it is a plant and if we eat it, we are ruining nature.
________________________________________

Pearl: I want to go to Hobby Lobby
Mom: Why?
Pearl: Because I want to buy something.
Mom: Where's your money?
Pearl: In your wallet.
________________________________________

During prayer I was whispering to Pearl what to say. I was having her bless everyone in turn. Everyone had been named except mom.

Mom: (whispering) Who is missing?
Pearl: (silence) ??
Mom: (giving up) Please bless mom
Pearl: (Hesitating) Please bless our bum.
________________________________________

June was reciting the Young Women's Values

June: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good works.......Industry??
________________________________________

June and Robyn were playing a fantasy game with mythological characters.

Robyn: It's a hypocrite!
June: No, a hippogriff.
________________________________________

Gotta love mixed up Christmas Carols.

Pearl: Here comes Santa Claus, dressed in a snow white gown!
________________________________________

After school we were talking about who had fallen on the ice.

Mom to Pearl: Did you slip on the ice today?
Pearl: No. (shaking her head) I slept (slipped) on my bed.
________________________________________

June: So, 1/4-1/5 is what, Robyn?
Robyn: Well, 5-4 is 1, so....one oneth?
________________________________________

We were talking to Ivory about when she would get baptized.

Tyler: You don't have to get baptized on a Saturday.
June: I think you have to pay extra to get baptized on a day that's not Saturday.
________________________________________

Ivory brought home a book about Martin Luther King Jr. She had read it out loud and was quizzing Daisy on what she heard.

Ivory: Did he become a minister?
Daisy: Yes.
Ivory: Did he get a shot?
Daisy: No.
Ivory: Yes. He was abolished. It means someone killed him.
________________________________________

Daisy: I know what wine is.
Mom: What is wine?
Daisy: Teardrops.
_________________________________________

Daisy has a different bus driver in the morning than she does in the afternoon.

Daisy: I wonder if my first bus driver is married to my second bus driver? Because they are both really old and they have cracked skin.
_________________________________________

Ivory: Why does your water bottle say insulted? (It says insulated.)
_________________________________________

I was tucking the littles into bed.

Pearl: This morning when I woke up, I was sick.
Daisy: Yeah, she was.
Mom: Oh, what kind of sick?
Daisy: Morning sickness.
_________________________________________

Pearl possibly listens to too much pop music. She sang this medley to dad the other day.

Pearl: What does the fox say? Ring-ding-ding-ding-ding-a-ding. Radioactive, radioactive. I missed my mom and dad for this?
(props if you recognize all those songs.)
_________________________________________

While eating small ice cream cups, Ivory mentioned that she had eaten enough ice cream that she could see the bottom of her cup. Then Daisy chimed in.

Daisy: I can see my bottom a little bit. A tiny crack.
_________________________________________

And finally one of my favorites. Tyler and I had gone to a play, In the Heights, and there were plenty of Spanish words throughout. At one point Tyler leans over, trying to be helpful.

Tyler: You might be a little lost. Abuela means Aunt.
Maleen: Abuela means Grandma.
Tyler: Yeah, that's what I meant.
_________________________________________



Hope these made you smile once or twice.