Sunday, May 17, 2020

Quirky Quips

I haven't done a post like this in a long time. I have so many funny quotes to share from my kids and luckily we write them down in a book. The weird thing is that I'm almost positive I've shared many of these before. However, since I can't find them on the blog...and trust me, I've looked...I'll just share them again. (Or maybe for the first time.)

These quotes span the time from August 2015 - to July 2017. (Plenty of time for kids to slip up when they are talking.) Let's jump right in.

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Ivory: This song is photoshopped
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Talking about a girl who is 13, getting ready to go to Mars, on a 1-way trip.

Daisy: Why would anyone do that? (meaning parents) Basically only if they hate their child.
Mom: Yeah, we almost called up NASA when we had Pearl.
Robyn: They're still sending monkeys to space, you know!
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June: The vote is unanimous. Three out of five people like Welch's more than Mott's. 
Mom: I don't think you know what unanimous means.
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Playing the "What Are You Doing" game

Daisy: What are you doing Robyn?
Robyn: Oh, I'm herding my sheep.

Daisy starts pretending to whack the sheep with a stick.

June: Daisy, not 'hurting.' 'Herding.'
(Lots of laughing)
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Pearl is saying the prayer.

Pearl: Please bless that I can turn six in like (pause) 50 years or something.
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Daisy: I have a crane in my neck.
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Ivory and I were talking about a zombie song.

Ivory: I could eat your brain. I'm a herbivore.
Mom: Someone who eats plants?
Ivory: Oh...I'm a vegetarian.
Mom: Still plants.
Ivory: I'm an herbivore....no...a meat eater!!
Mom: You are looking for carnivore.
Ivory: Yes!
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June had laundry on her bed.

Mom: June! The laundry.
June: Mom, I folded two loads today. 
Mom: Yes, but there is still laundry on your bed. It stresses me out. Do you want your mom to be stressed out?
June: Eat a donut.
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June: Oriental. Doesn't that mean decorated for Christmas?
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In June's prayer...

June: Bless us not to be forgetters and uh... (long pause since she forgot what she was going to say next.)
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Ivory: Your biceps and thighceps are always warm.
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Pearl and I are reading a book

Pearl: I want a dog like that, and a squirrel like that and a dolphin like that. 
Mom: How about the chameleon?
Pearl: No
Mom: Why not?
Pearl: (almost whisper) They poop.
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Pearl and Mom were coming home and thought they saw Dad's car up ahead.

Mom: I think that might be Dad. He said he was coming home for lunch.
(They get closer)
Mom: It is Dad!
Pearl: I knew it! Because his head is shaped like a square.
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Pearl: I want another dog. I want babies and Moxy doesn't lay babies. 
(Too much egg talk around Easter.)
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Robyn: We had to add...expired milk. No, no...evaporated milk.
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Driving home from writer's conference. (Abbi, Addi, Esther, and Robyn attended)

Addi: What is your name?
Robyn: Don't tell her Esther!!
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The girls were taking off bottle caps to save for a future project.

June: We worked hard to not dement them.
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We were talking about Miss Thomas becoming Mrs. Bingham.

Mom: It's MRS. Bingham
Robyn: Murse? Isn't murse that thing that takes away dead bodies?
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June's lesson was on individual worth and confidence.

Ivory: I've heard a lot of small details about confidence, but how do you make yourself....confidential?
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Ivory was talking about her book.

Ivory: She went on a train to this oven place.
Mom: Oh, it's a book about the Holocaust.
Ivory: No...it's a book about Jews who are killed.
Mom: So...the Holocaust.
Ivory: I don't know what that is.
Mom: Clearly.
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Talking about wearing rainbow attire for a YW activity.

Mom: Robyn is going to paint her face.
June: Yes, she won't let me paint my face because it was her idea.
Robyn: I'm going to paint my face because I'm not going to wear clothes!
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We were guessing who would be the next speaker during a session of general conference.

June: I guess Rasband.
Ivory: Holland.
Mom: Oh...uh...Scott.
Robyn: ....is dead.
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Robyn trips while getting into the car.

Mom: Grace herself.
Robyn: More like brace yourself.
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June: Why does dad always have German Chocolate cake for his birthday?
Mom: Because it's his favorite cake.
June: (getting confused) Really? German shepherd's pie? Aren't there shepherds in there somewhere?
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Talking about how many hours of sleep you need.

Mom: I think of it as less time to do stupid things.
June: I don't think of it that way. I don't do many stupid things. 
June: Maybe boys need more sleep.
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Playing Probe.

Pearl: Mom do you have an I.
Mom: An I?
Pearl: Yeah, as in E-gloo.
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June is tickling Pearl.

Pearl: Mom, June is pampering me! Make her stop!
Pearl gets away and says: Yeah, that's right. Don't pamper me anymore!
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Playing cards.

Pearl: I only have ONE club—and it was the two of spades!
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Eating lasagna.

Daisy: Mom, did you put cotton cheese in this?
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June is explaining to Pearl what to write on an envelope.

June: Now U,T capitalized.
Pearl, writing it: UT
June: Now, on the same line, 8...
Pearl: Is that capitalized?
June: It's an 8!
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That's enough for today. There are plenty more. I'll have to be better about including a Quirky Quips now and then. My kids sure make me laugh...a lot.

Also, I recommend a quote book for your house. My kids LOVE to go back and read the funny things they say. We keep it in a central location and anyone can write in it. You also get some weird things written in there. But better something, than nothing.

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