Everyone Needs a Good Cry Once in a While

Mine was today.

I didn't think it was going to be a crying day. There was no indication (besides the fact that it was Monday, and Mondays can go either way). Nope, I was just jumping into the day as usual. I got kid number one off to school and then packed up two, three, and four to go to the doctor's for a check-up. Daisy is officially four months old now (I know, where has the time gone?). She is doing very well, except she didn't really gain as much weight as I would have liked. I know my children run small, but I still like to see them keep a steady upward trend on the chart and this time she kinda dipped down. I wouldn't be so worried except that I had problems when I had Robyn. I think my milk gave out early, because Robyn didn't gain ANY weight between 4 and 6 months (not normal for babies). So, I am a bit paranoid about keeping my babies fed. I swear my milk is non-fat to begin with because my babies don't chunk up like they should, but it is even worse when there isn't quite enough and I feel like I am slowly starving my child. So that news settled on me like a baby beluga. The doctor had some suggestions; she said to try More Milk Plus and it should help the quantity I produce. So I left thinking I would find some at my earliest convenience.

I staggered outside doing the lumber a mom does when she is carrying a carseat, holding the hand of a two year old, balancing her purse and trying to keep child number three reasonably close. There was a huge brown UPS truck parked next to the sidewalk, right by the crossing area. I realized that you couldn't really see around to tell if cars were coming, so I cautioned Robyn to stay very close as I tried to peek around.

I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am that I thought to take caution and that Robyn obeyed so well. Only seconds later, a lady came tearing through the small intersection. She took the corner sharply and sped away into the parking lot. I don't think she ever even saw us. She was probably intent on an open parking spot close by so she could save herself two minutes walking.

Furious would not be an adequate word for how I felt. I stopped to make sure all children were still accounted for and thanked my lucky stars that I was still walking towards my car instead of carrying Robyn back into the hospital (our doctor's office is part of a hospital). I would have tracked down this lady just to yell at her, but I couldn't see where she had parked and I was still carrying the carseat and holding Ivory's hand. So instead I just fumed inside.

Adrenaline doesn't wear off as fast as I would like. I got home with plenty in my system and then I made the mistake of calling Tyler. I think I wanted to tell him about this lady, and I wanted to ask if he was coming home for lunch so I could run over and get some lactation medicine. Instead, all my emotions bubbled up inside; adrenaline and a baby beluga don't go well together. They tend to just burst out through the eyes. I wasn't on the phone for more than a few moments before I regretted my decision to call because I didn't want to cry on the phone.

Try convincing your husband in a voice verging on hysteria and tears that nothing is wrong.
Yeah, he didn't buy it, and he came home despite my pleas to the contrary. It was nice to get a good hug though, and have a nice cry (most of which happened before he got home). He even let me run over to the store and purchase this medicine



(although I wish I had gotten the capsule kind, because I ended up with the liquid that tastes like I am eating thistles with a drizzle of honey on top—not the tastiest stuff, but whatever).

Not the most tragic day by far, but apparently I have been bottling up some tears that needed a release. And I'm not really complaining. I'll take crying over my kids NOT being hit by a car any day over the alternative.