How to Score Yourself a New Desk

Basically all you need to do is have your Dad stand on your old desk until it breaks. Granted you may need to come up with some plausible reason for him to stand on your desk, but don't give up; I am sure you can figure out some excuse.

We used the ever popular, "Can you please hang curtain rods above the window." Then we complicated the matter further by buying the wrong size curtain rod, and then making sure he had to hang it twice since we didn't have him measure the first time (actually, he didn't measure the second time either, but it is dangerous to ask him to drill holes a third time). By then, if your Dad has any significant mass, and your desk is built from less than quality materials, you should have accomplished your goal.

Good luck in all your sneaky endeavors.

p.s. This could cause harm to some Dad's if they are not expecting the desk to crumble under their 'slight' frame, so you might scatter some random pillows to absorb impact. However, if you want to give Dad a good excuse to complain and get out of doing the dishes for a few days, just let him fall wherever.

p.p.s. I would try this one myself except my Dad lives too far away and he is old enough to have stopped foolishly standing in high places. Plus, I'm not sure if he would have any idea how to hang curtains (I was the handy man around our house—and not a very good one).

Legal Disclaimer (in small print): This story is of course hypothetical, but just for clarification, NO Dads were permanently impaired as a result of this narrative. One Dad may have a bruised elbow, but he has no evidence to convict the guilty party (I mean NOT-guilty party).