Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Things MY Kids Say

We have a quote book at our house now, so anyone can write down a funny comment. This is extremely helpful because I used to forget to write things down, but now someone always pipes up and says, "Quote book" or they just go write it themselves. This also leads to many a random thing written in the quote book that is not all that funny, but at least the kids are amused by their own silliness. Here are a few from the last five months that I enjoyed.
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Daisy and I are reading a book online. The book has questions at the end.

Mom: What is a baby cat called?
Daisy: MITTEN!!
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We were watching the end of General Conference and President Monson exited the stand with his daughter. (Previously, he always left with his wife.)

Mom: Cute, now President Monson goes out with his daughter.
(June gave me a quizzical look)
June: Mom, I thought you meant "Goes out with" the other way.
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Kami: Kendyl, ya it's a bisexual name.
Mom: Do you mean unisex??
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June: Which is it? Alfalfa or Omega?
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Robyn: You know why I don't eat broccoli? Because it is a plant and if we eat it, we are ruining nature.
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Pearl: I want to go to Hobby Lobby
Mom: Why?
Pearl: Because I want to buy something.
Mom: Where's your money?
Pearl: In your wallet.
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During prayer I was whispering to Pearl what to say. I was having her bless everyone in turn. Everyone had been named except mom.

Mom: (whispering) Who is missing?
Pearl: (silence) ??
Mom: (giving up) Please bless mom
Pearl: (Hesitating) Please bless our bum.
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June was reciting the Young Women's Values

June: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good works.......Industry??
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June and Robyn were playing a fantasy game with mythological characters.

Robyn: It's a hypocrite!
June: No, a hippogriff.
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Gotta love mixed up Christmas Carols.

Pearl: Here comes Santa Claus, dressed in a snow white gown!
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After school we were talking about who had fallen on the ice.

Mom to Pearl: Did you slip on the ice today?
Pearl: No. (shaking her head) I slept (slipped) on my bed.
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June: So, 1/4-1/5 is what, Robyn?
Robyn: Well, 5-4 is 1, so....one oneth?
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We were talking to Ivory about when she would get baptized.

Tyler: You don't have to get baptized on a Saturday.
June: I think you have to pay extra to get baptized on a day that's not Saturday.
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Ivory brought home a book about Martin Luther King Jr. She had read it out loud and was quizzing Daisy on what she heard.

Ivory: Did he become a minister?
Daisy: Yes.
Ivory: Did he get a shot?
Daisy: No.
Ivory: Yes. He was abolished. It means someone killed him.
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Daisy: I know what wine is.
Mom: What is wine?
Daisy: Teardrops.
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Daisy has a different bus driver in the morning than she does in the afternoon.

Daisy: I wonder if my first bus driver is married to my second bus driver? Because they are both really old and they have cracked skin.
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Ivory: Why does your water bottle say insulted? (It says insulated.)
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I was tucking the littles into bed.

Pearl: This morning when I woke up, I was sick.
Daisy: Yeah, she was.
Mom: Oh, what kind of sick?
Daisy: Morning sickness.
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Pearl possibly listens to too much pop music. She sang this medley to dad the other day.

Pearl: What does the fox say? Ring-ding-ding-ding-ding-a-ding. Radioactive, radioactive. I missed my mom and dad for this?
(props if you recognize all those songs.)
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While eating small ice cream cups, Ivory mentioned that she had eaten enough ice cream that she could see the bottom of her cup. Then Daisy chimed in.

Daisy: I can see my bottom a little bit. A tiny crack.
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And finally one of my favorites. Tyler and I had gone to a play, In the Heights, and there were plenty of Spanish words throughout. At one point Tyler leans over, trying to be helpful.

Tyler: You might be a little lost. Abuela means Aunt.
Maleen: Abuela means Grandma.
Tyler: Yeah, that's what I meant.
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Hope these made you smile once or twice.



4 comments:

Beth Hulse said...

Lots and Lots of smiles for me!

meganmushrat said...

My favorite was Pearl's assertion that her money is in your wallet. Everybody here has money in my wallet too!

Scott and Svetlana said...

Ha-ha-ha-ha. Made my day (I mean the end of the day before tomorrow's early morning exam). Love "kids sayings", back in Russia we even have a little show of what kids say and how they explain things. :) Aww, reminded me of home..

Gaynelle Ryan said...

These are so awesome! What a great idea to have a quote book. Plus, I recognized all the pop songs. I have a teenager in my house for heaven's sake.