Catch-22

I'm just frustrated! This morning Ivory woke up damp and sweaty. She was cool to the touch as if a fever had broke and she was extremely lethargic. I watched her as she ate breakfast and worried about her inactivity (very unlike her). I figured I should watch her a while and see how she progressed but I thought I would get a second opinion. I called our pediatrician to talk to a nurse. When I described the symptoms, the nurse said I should bring her in so they could look at her. I sounded hesitant over the phone because I hate to pay money to have them tell me exactly what I already know. The nurse was indignant and then condescending. She said, "If it were my baby, I would bring her in to be checked." Thanks for the guilt trip I didn't say. Ivory was very lack-luster and I worried she might have an ear infection since she had been crying a little at night, so my paranoid side finally won. I took her to the doctor. And guess what, there was nothing wrong with her. By the time we arrived, she was more peppy, and she had no fever or red in her ears. I am so glad that I was able to pay money to have them tell me what I already knew (minus the ears). But really moms, what if there is something wrong? It is such a catch-22. I am sure if I hadn't gone in, she would surely have had some strange disease and I would be kicking myself every night as I watched her suffer knowing I could have helped her, if only... Sheesh, the thrills of motherhood. Always guessing and trying our hardest. I would like to call the nurse back and say, "Hey, it's hard enough...without the guilt trips."