Thursday, November 15, 2007

So Mature

If you don't like boy humor, you may want to stop reading.
I've been married to a boy now for almost 8 years. I never had brothers growing up, so I had no idea the fascination they have with flatulence. I should have figured it out eons ago merely because of all the fancy words they have for the proverbial "fart". Tyler has come home with some very interesting descriptions given by the guys at work. My favorite one (to hate) is "drop bass."(thanks Jared)
Needless to say, when we got our Questar Gas bill, and it had the following news, Tyler was almost crying with laughter and I may have chuckled a bit too.

Questar's newsletter had an article: How to identify an outside gas leak

"A pungent 'rotten-egg' odor is your warning that there may be a gas leak. (NO kidding)
But what about other ways of identifying gas leaks?

The following signs may indicate a pipeline leak or failure (that's a nice way to put it.)
- Hissing, roaring or blowing sound (trust me, there are many more sounds than that)
- Dirt being blown into the air (let's hope that's all)
-Fire at or near exposed piping (this only occurs with a blue dart usually. If you don't know what that it, please try to keep your naivety. It is too late for me.)
Continuous bubbling in wet, flooded areas (hopefully only on really bad days)

Anyway, if you have even an iota of immature humor in you, you can see why we were laughing together (at the dinner table no less). This post is mainly for Tyler, but I hope some of you enjoyed it.


raging stallion said...

For all males everywhere, I declare, "Well said, "Questar."

the guys at work said...

There are others, which fit it differing situations. Such as:
"To sit on one's face and pipe."

"To pound one into the chair." This is to be used in situations where there is a soft muffler such as a thick sofa or padded chair.

"To rumble." Obvious situational use.

These are some that we use in the office, though in order to prevent embarrassment from a small vocabulary, you can review these sites: How+to+Say+I+FARTED /spark/smelly/fartsurvey/terms.htm

It has been our experience that the female and male genders refer to gas differently. Please note that our usage is, of course, predominantly male. We typically adjust our usage to "toot" or "fluff" when in the presence of a lady. Notice the careful nature of the wording here: we're perfectly happy to adjust our usage, though adjusting our behavior....

Until next time, enjoy killing the canary.

Maleen said...

I totally forgot, but I should add that my personal favorite is "Barking spiders" We have plenty at our house. Someone call an exterminator.

Deanne said...

Having grown up with 6 brothers, I am all too familiar with boys and their flatulence. My brother used to come in at night, moon me, let one rip, fan the door, then leave. (You are NOT allowed to do that to Maleen, Tyler!) I guess I do have an iota of immature humor in me, because I got a little chuckle. Thanks for sharing!

S&E Mack said...

Great post! Very entertaining! Sorry I haven't been able to get back to you yet. School was CRAZY the past few days! But field is over tomorrow so I should be back to normal soon: ) We are pretty much booked this weekend but anytime next week we are good to get together. I will call you soon so we can figure out something specific. Have a great day!

Hot Chocolate said...

You know what is also interesting...and very male...the name "Raging Stallion". Kissable knew exactly who this was the moment he read the name.

Justin, Jessica, Alexis, and Allee said...

Justin sure did enjoy your blog!!! Although he said,"I didn't know Maleen talked like that. We need to talk alot more often. :-)" We got some good laughs. Thanks

Stacie said...

Humorous (must have an iota of immaturity in me)! Mark would love to read this post - I'll be showing it to him! Definitely know the "barking spiders" one - Mark uses it all the time.