All my kids crack me up sometimes with the things they say, but here are a couple from June this week.
June has problems with inanimate objects. She tends to get hurt and she figures they (the chair, the couch, etc.) did it on purpose. I have explained countless times that those things don't move by themselves, but she's convinced they are just plain MEAN! So she came in whimpering about some chair hitting her. I tried a new approach.
Me: What a mean chair.
June: (whimper, sob) Momma (it is so infuriating that when she gets hurt, all she will say is 'Momma' which is not a term I like and it doesn't help solve the problem of what happened).
Me: I hope you told that chair to say sorry.
June: (with a quizzical look) what?
Me: Did you tell him to say sorry because obviously he can talk and move.
I think she could tell that I was trying to trap her in the usual conversation that chairs don't move, so she said...
June: He can't talk, but he CAN move.
I give up.
So I moved on to another topic. Pain. I was trying to distract her from the moving chair and the crying, so I asked her to give me a number between 1 and 5.
Me: On a scale of 1 to 5, tell me how badly it hurts-- Five being It hurts so bad, I think I'm going to die!! And one being Eh, it's not too bad.
She looked at me for a minute and then said...
She must have thought of that all by herself because I have never given her an option of numbers before, but it sure made me laugh. And fortunately, when I laugh and June realizes she has said something funny, it usually cheers her right up. So, the evil chairs will probably live to strike another day, but I will be on my guard (as should you all).