Thursday, October 23, 2008

The News

2 hours ago: Tyler killed it.

16.5 hours ago: Maleen called Stewarts Pest Control and got voice mail. She cursed herself mentally and reminded herself to have the next emergency during business hours.

17 hours ago: The black widow descended from its hiding place and Maleen's heart practically stopped.

Other news related events:

* Said black widow has apparently been living just under the cupboards near the lazy susan and entirely too close to lots of bare feet.

* Ivory may have a spider complex now after her mom banished her from the kitchen for 24 hours at least. Ivory has been heard to say "Spiders in dark places." and "Spiders get me dead."

*Tyler thought it would be funny to put a plastic spider on Maleen's arm this morning and considering the recent events, she let out a hearty scream. Tyler's trial is scheduled for later this week.

*There will be sprayers coming shortly but which company has yet to be disclosed.

*Maleen has told reporters that she no longer feels safe in her home. Here is her statement: "It was in my kitchen for heaven's sake! I did try and get a glass to catch it before it went back into its lair, but I couldn't get close to it; I was paralyzed by fear. If it had been closer to my children, I think I would have summoned the courage to attack; but as it was, Ivory was safely two feet away on a stool. Safe? Who am I kidding? There was a black widow in my HOUSE!!" At this point most of what she said became unintelligible. She was taken away for further questioning.

This has been a live report from the Cazier household. We encourage you home owners to reassess your pest problems and consider having your own house sprayed. You never know what might be lurking inches away from your feet.

11 comments:

Sunny said...

I'm a little nervous about my bare feet as I look around at the dark corners in my house. sigh. I hate spiders.

Desmama said...

Oh, fake-spider-on-the-arm is the meanest! I would've lapsed into a coma.

Cindy said...

Watch your garage too. We haven't had any black widows in the house (yet), but we've had some in the garage. And that's where all the bikes are, the freezer, the rake, etc. Scary!

meganmushrat said...

I grew up in a area where black widow spiders were extremely common - especially in the garage. We were just warned to stay away from spiders - but I have to admit that I don't ever remember having one in the house. I think even Grandma would have been a bit upset about that. When I told Dad about Tyler's prank he just laughed and laughed. I could see that he would have done the same under similar circumstances. Men!

Kayla said...

You are so brave! I would have lost it! Even the fact that you stayed in the same room is amazing in itself! I am so nervous now. I keep constantly looking in all the dark crevices. I think I'll have my apartment sprayed...just to be safe!

Deanne said...

Yikes. I'll be making a phone call.

Tim said...

Creppy! I have enogh spiders in my house as is, but none poisunous.

emma jo said...

Black Widows frighten me beyond all reason...I am so sorry. Actually any kind of spider in my house is not OK. And I love the last post with the end of the day hair...I am always tempted to take morning and evening pictures of everyone.

¡Vieve! said...

Holy crap. I'm certain I'll never step foot into your house again...just in case.

Stacy said...

Maleen, this was perfect, I loved every second of it.

Melanie said...

In your house???!! UGH!!! How would it have gotten in? I can't handle the thought....