Friday, October 10, 2008

No Self-Control

Tyler always wonders why I write posts that are not super positive about myself. Well, the fact is people, even though I look like a super model and keep house like Mary Poppins, I am really just human.
In fact, I have a few annoyingly human traits that I would like to get rid of...

1. I can't finish a chart to save my life. That may not make a lot of sense, but I will explain.
I am always trying to organize my life or get myself to do something (like reading the Ensign all the way through, or doing a deep cleaning chore once a day) so I will make these fun little charts to remind me or encourage me. They work well for a while and then...I don't finish them. EVER. Currently on the fridge is the prayer chart I started with my children and didn't finish (big surprise). I spend more time making these charts than doing them. It is really an odd quirk of mine. I am starting to think that if I really want to do something, I'd better not make a chart about it because that would be shooting it in the foot before it even started the race.
I need to find a better way to encourage myself and accomplish things. Recently I noticed that every day I manage to check out blogs or write a post of my own, but somehow I never found time to read the scriptures (I know, it sounded fishy to me too). So, I went back and signed up at readthescriptures.com. Now I am allowed to look at blogs after I do what matters first. I haven't missed a day yet. Good thing I didn't make a chart.

2. Next, I can NOT diet. I know, many of you are saying that I don't need to diet, and I agree with you. But many times I have tried dieting to see what it is like or to try and eat healthier. I can't do it. Once I told my mom that we should both cut sugar out of our diets (I was hoping that if she wasn't doing it alone, she would feel extra support). Yeah, I ended up eating a ton of sweets before we started and then I cheated almost every day; once it was denied me, I couldn't handle the pressure. I was really NOT proud of myself at all.
I was talking to a friend last night and I told her that I really want to eat better and she suggested not taking away, but adding. "Let's make sure we eat a certain number of fruits and vegetables each day instead of taking out sugar." Hmmm, this sounds like something I might be able to do. I haven't started yet, and trust me, I won't make a chart, but I'll let you know how it goes.

3. Finally, I am not very conservative when it comes to spending money. Yikes, I know my husband is going to read this and laugh while saying that is an understatement. I know I should not impulse buy, or buy items I want rather than need. I try to ignore our finances, instead thinking that we probably have enough to cover this small purchase (and then I proceed to make four or five "small" purchases).
Maybe I need to have a personal budget; money Tyler would give me that I can use for whatever I want. I would have to keep track of it, but that would be better than the current situation where I spend that money anyway, but I am blissfully unaware of how much is leaving my pocket (or his pocket...okay let's just say the amorphous OUR pocket).
Unfortunately this post will probably lead to another undesired but necessary financial conversation (which, I frankly need people). I really CAN be good about money, just most of the time I choose not to be.

And now that I have bared my lack of self-control to the world, I would love some advice; if you have any. Any clever tricks to keep yourself in line, or motivate yourself to do better? That is, if I don't go delete this post right now...

12 comments:

Emilie said...

You are too funny! I do that same sort of chart thing too. I don't know, maybe it is just a personality thing with me. I get too stressed out if I feel like I am to overly scheduled because when I don't do it, I get down on myself. Hum, sorry I am no help but is good to know there are people that have the same struggle.

Cindy B said...

I signed up with readthescriptures.com too and I love it. I haven't missed a day yet! I like that it will read the scriptures to me, if I hit the audio link. So cool.

And don't even ask me about being organized. I just don't have that gene.

meganmushrat said...

Who do you think you inherited your lack of self-control from? I haven't even been able to keep up with the readthescritpures.com I, too, love making charts but don't carry through. And let's not even go to the dieting thing! I tend to do things in flurries rather than steady progress. Of course, work tends to be a 'flurry' almost every night, so I guess it isn't surprising that I un-flurry when I get home. I need to work on that - maybe tomorrow.

Melanie said...

I did the readthescriptures thing and couldn't even keep up with that, so I'm no help at all.

But, I just wanted to say that I love it when people share their flaws because it makes them so much more human and approachable to me. It actually makes me much more irritated to have someone pretend like everything is just perfect.

deckerfam said...

Are you sure you weren't writing about me?? I have all the same struggles! I tried the diet thing once I actually did pretty good for a few weeks until I gained 5 pounds. So i figured eat what I want take vitamins and exercize more. I think it is impossible for me to give up eating the "good stuff". My only advice is it helps to have a buddy to work on goals with. I do better with stuff if I have someone else to do it with. But this is the kind of stuff that makes us human :)

deckerfam said...

Are you sure you weren't writing about me?? I have all the same struggles! I tried the diet thing once I actually did pretty good for a few weeks until I gained 5 pounds. So i figured eat what I want take vitamins and exercize more. I think it is impossible for me to give up eating the "good stuff". My only advice is it helps to have a buddy to work on goals with. I do better with stuff if I have someone else to do it with. But this is the kind of stuff that makes us human :)

Stacy said...

Maleen, adding the fruits and veggies is a way good idea. Just don't think too much about it, hopefully eating more fruit will satisfy you enough that you won't reach for the candy as often.
I'm right there with you on the charts and thanks for the online scripture idea!
As far as finances, it sounds like maybe Tyler pays the bills. If that is the case, you do it for a month and see how it is. Then you can see what you are having to eliminate (like school stuff for kids or groceries) when you spend it on something you think you shouldn't. I am no budget queen, but I pay all the bills in our family and if David's gas station and Wendy's jaunts get too out of hand all I have to do is say "Okay, you handle the money this month" and the notion of that scares him enough to lay off for a bit. See...works like a charm :)

Tim said...

you should make a chart counting how many other charts you dont follow.

Desmama said...

Lately I've found that if I want to tackle certain tasks, I have to take them one at a time. I have to remind myself to "eat this elephant one bite at a time." I need to start slow, get a habit established, and then move onto the next character-building something-or-other. I can't do them all at the same time. Just one at a time.

I also factor in little rewards for when I do something--even intermediate rewards help. I've been tackling our basement lately, trying to get it clean. Each day, I'd go down there, set a certain amount I wanted to get done (reasonable, not overly ambitious), and then tell myself that if I got that done, then I'd do something for myself--a hot bath, a fun dessert, just something to look forward to and then I'd get the satisfaction of a job well done and the reward I'd coupled with it.

This was a good post. I loved your honesty--so many of these things I saw in myself. I know I'll need to make a concerted effort at dieting after this baby comes, but I am not looking forward to it for the reasons you mentioned. Also, I have to get over my own mentality of "I cannot do this. I've never done it before, why would I be able to do it now?" I've got to start to mentally readjust.

¡Vieve! said...

I hate giving advice, because what works for me never works for others, but when I was reading the Book of Mormon, I would leave it on my pillow, and my rule was that I couldnt' get into bed until I had read for ______ allotted amount of time.

If you get any tips on the dieting, lay them on me. I'm struggling with that myself!

Stacie said...

First of all, the chart thing sounds just like Mark. He would say so himself, but he makes so many charts with lots of different goals but then doesn't achieve the majority of them. Poor guy then beats himself up for it, but it's like one of the comments said, eat the elephant one bite at a time. It quickly gets too overwhelming and if you're anything like me when it does, I just shut down and don't do any of it. Sorry, no helpful advice for you...just another story to let you know you're not alone in this. Thank you for the helpful tip for reading the scriptures...I need to try this one. Maybe instead of making a chart of chores, etc., pick one thing you'd like to get done that day and then when you finish it...be it that day or the next, ask Tyler to reward you with a Starbucks Pumpkin hot chocolate...oh wait, that wouldn't really do much good for the spending one, would it? Hmmm.

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