I find it lazy to take pictures of people in this house. Well, not lazy on a day to day basis. It actually takes quite a bit of work to keeps things documented. But for a photography challenge, emphasis on challenge, I feel like I should stretch beyond these walls now and then.
However, for the last three challenges, I went outside. (Granted, not all that far for some, but at least away from the house.) And I think I should have more pictures of myself on the blog. Not because I am amazing (or photogenic sadly) but because my kids will want to see me. They love me despite all my faults, I have noticed.
Being a mother is no walk in the park. There is nothing anyone can say to prepare you, because your kids will never be their kids. Your struggles can never be their struggles, because your brain is not their brain. This isn't an admonishment to stop giving advice. Give it away. But until you are there, it is not real. And when you are there, it is all TOO real sometimes.
I want to be a good mother. I want to do the right thing for my children and see them happy and resilient. Functional. I hope they all can make it when I am no longer here. I want them to enjoy music, and read books. I want them to have hobbies and laugh a lot. I want them to be kind and put others first. Learning to be selfless is a beautiful diminishing trait. I want the world to not hurt them (too much) and not break them. I want them to be themselves. Although I wouldn't mind if they were a little bit like me.
And I really want for them to be mothers someday. So they can feel some of what I feel for them.
Next week: Doors