Tonight as I was sending June to bed, we had this conversation:
June: Don't you get tired at this time of night? (Around 9:00pm)
Me: Yep.
June: Then why don't you go to bed too?
Me: Oh, trust me, I would love to. But this is the only time I have to do things for myself. During the day if there is a choice between playing with you guys and reading a book per se, I usually choose playing with you, or helping you with something, like reading or piano. So instead of going to bed, I usually catch up on stuff for me. If there wasn't that stuff, I would definitely go to bed, because I loooooove to sleep.
She looked down at the ground, and I could see that she was getting sad. That surprised me so I asked her what was wrong. As the tears leaked out, I said:
Me: What is with the tears? Why are you sad?
June: These are happy tears. I'm happy that you choose to play with us.
Me too. Me too.
Granted, I choose to clean a lot too, which is less fun for them, but I do try to spend a little quality time with each child every day. Sometimes I feel the lonely ache of not having so much 'me-time' anymore. But evenings are good for sneaking in some reading or getting a project done. And too soon they will all be in school and all that free time will drown me if I look back and realize I have no relationship with my children.
Some people feel they didn't choose to be a mother whereas I chose deliberately. But that doesn't matter, because every day you have the opportunity to choose again. And today and the next day I hope I choose to be a mother.
3 comments:
What a sweet story. I love that I will never ever regret putting something else down, to go be with them. Darling girl.
I LOVE those moments. You rock. Did I mention how much I LOVE and respect you? Because I just DO!
Beautifully put, Maleen! I know there are times I need to choose to be a mother and not worry as much about other things...and you're an inspiration to us all to put down those other things and make our kids the #1 priority in life. It's true - they grow up way too fast and those opportunities will be lost if we don't take advantage of them now!
Post a Comment