Monday, November 18, 2013

Two Unrelated Things (One good, One bad)


You know the Js are married. (Old has been almost a week of wedded bliss.) We went up to Idaho a couple weekends before to attend a bridal shower.  It was very fun, but I was not a good picture taker. I got this one of the official 'bride to be.'

And then June was excited that she got down to three marbles in this game and asked me to take a picture. It should be noted that she later got down to 2 marbles, but her mother was unwilling to get the phone out again.

ANOTHER THING (Alert: This is slightly disturbing)

When I was little, my Dad used to threaten (in jest) to take us to the 'Spanking Place.' He never described the place in detail, but little minds have big imaginations. For some reason, I imagined large dryers that would open revealing large, gloved, cartoon-like hands that would come out and spank you. Weird, but that is how it panned out in my head.

As a good mom, I continued the tradition and would every so often tell the kids we were going to the 'Spanking Place.' Naturally I was still imagining the same strange place and not even contemplating what might be going through their impressionable minds. One morning, I was taking June to school and the littles were along for the ride. Pearl asked where we were going and I said, "The Spanking Place. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Daisy was the one who answered, "No. You have to pull down your pants, even your underwear. And then they hit you with ice. Even if you're peeing."

WOW. Apparently her version of the spanking place was much more unpleasant than mine. I actually felt bad for ever speaking of the place.

Later I asked other children their interpretations. June imagined a large hand much like mine accompanied by a man who kept asking, "Do you know what you did wrong yet?" (Yikes)

Robyn said, "You know how build-a-bear looks. Well, the spanking place would be like that, but with none of the good stuff inside. Instead there would be witches and a slab where kids would lay down and all these hands would just keep spanking them. Of course there would be a line of moms outside waiting to take their kids there." (Oh my)

Ivory's version was much simpler. "I just imagine home because you and dad are the only ones who spank me." (Ouch)

Really, I can't tell which of these is MORE disturbing. I certainly think that my imaginary 'Spanking Place' is the most mild of the lot. Interesting (and twisted in this case) how an idea can be so different in each person's mind. Maybe tomorrow we will talk about what heaven looks like. Hopefully it will be more like build-a-bear with all the good stuff included.


meganmushrat said...

Hey, at least you didn't have Dad take out your gladus pladus every few days. They obviously have a remarkable ability to regenerate, because I had mine taken out dozens of times!

meganmushrat said...

I read this to Dad and he laughed and laughed. Don't forget the Spanking Place had the automatic Beatie Machines - put money in the slot and close the door. Very much like your dryers.